Yar. Pirates are sweet. For one they say booty a lot. For another they drink anonymous liquor from jugs and have dirty fingernails, and when I look through my own personal book of stuff that is sweet, all of those things are definitely in there. Right between swordfights and eye patches, so yeah pirates are sweet. […]

Juuuuust in case you couldn’t tell by the way you have been slurring your words, tripping on your feet and insisting on singing as loudly and publicly as possible for the past couple of hours, you might need an iPhone to tell you that you are drunk. I mean, those other factors should really have […]

What is sweet about online photo editors is that you can take that picture of yourself from the hamburger eating competition and digitally mop your brow of the dripping sweat that began to accrue after the seventh patty. You can shave off that double chin which was in mid-jiggle with delight in winning first place […]

Who doesn’t like free stuff? Psychopaths, that’s who; I don’t trust a person who doesn’t swipe and thoroughly relish a free pen, t-shirt, button, hat etc. You can be sure that a man or woman who walks by a free samples tray in the grocery store, or waves a hand at a free lanyard at […]